Over coffee with friends following a great dinner out recently, the husband of the other couple said, “Methodist huh? That’s the next closest thing to Unitarianism.”
My mind immediately went back to a book my wife and I had read together some time back, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, by Suzette Haden Elgin. Chapter One: The Four Basic Rules. First, Know that you’re under attack. Second, know what kind of attack you’re facing. Third, know how to make your defense fit the attack. Fourth, know how to follow through.
Our friend’s comment, as innocent as it may have seemed, was a verbal attack. But I wasn’t surprised by it, so I was not at a disadvantage. Knowing this gentleman fairly well too, I recognized that it was meant to engage us in a your faith/my faith debate. I also knew that this man was not a seriously-committed believer himself. So, I quickly formulated a defense. I chose first to draw him out more, to investigate his arsenal.
“I’ve heard that said before,” I said, “stated different ways perhaps. But how have you come to believe this about Methodists?”
“Oh, just what I’ve heard.”
Having set him up for an appropriate defense I then asked, “So, you’ve not actually inquired from any authoritative source just what Methodists do believe?”
“No, but I’ve heard from others who have, and they say that Methodists don’t know what they believe.”
Okay, I had successfully employed the first three principles. Notice, I chose not to respond indignantly or with an overly aggressive re-tart. There’s no faster way to loose a verbal argument than to loose your cool. Often, it’s exactly what your opponent wants. Remember, verbal self-defense is a Gentle Art. Questions are a great deal more gentle than statements.
“Well, I may not be the best authority on the subject, but I have been a seriously-practicing Methodist for many years now. Would you like to hear what I believe?” This was the initiation of my follow through, the fourth principle. It was an opportunity for evangelism that I was not going to pass-up on if given the invitation.
“Sure, tell me.”
The World According to Opa 